


Happily Ever After

by nellyn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 14:03:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7717618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nellyn/pseuds/nellyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Transfer from HP Fandom.)</p>
<p>Harry has lived his entire life without really knowing his parents. He needs to fix that. And soon. (AU after OTP.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything in HP. If I did, would I be posting it here? Think about it.
> 
> Seriously though... I do not own HP. Do not sue me. I have now said it.

Once upon a time there was a little boy left on the doorstep of a lovely home in Surrey. He spent the night out in the cold and wet... Sleeping... Dreaming.

He dreamed about his father, a man with beautiful brown eyes and a hearty laugh. He dreamed about his mother with her flaming hair and emerald green eyes. The only true sadness about this little boy was, when morning came, he had forgotten all the things he had dreamed. He couldn't remember who he missed anymore. He didn't see his mother's hair in the bright light of the sunrise. He didn't hear his father's whispers on the wind as it blew by.

When he was discovered that morning on that doorstep, the little boy could almost see someone familiar in the woman towering over him. But even little boys forget the simplest things, and this little boy forgot love.

As the years went by, the little boy found no home in Surrey. The people who cared for him only did so to appease people they were afraid of. The little boy would sleep in his cupboard and play with the dust bunnies he found there for he was not allowed toys. He would make up stories in his head. And the sweetest story of all was one about the mother and father he could no longer remember. His father was a king and his mother a queen. They lost him one day while traveling in Surrey and they searched for him still.

The little boy needed the illusion of love. The illusion of memory. A slim hope that one day he would be worth love.

One day, the little boy wasn't so little anymore. He was an older boy of ten and he got his first piece of mail ever. A letter on parchment with a fancy script addressed to "The Little Boy Under the Stairs." The boy was so excited that he nearly jumped for joy. Surely he was loved if someone had sent him mail. But his caretakers took that letter away before he could read it, and the boy tried to forget the whole thing.

But the people who wrote the letter to the boy didn't forget. And when he hadn't replied, they sent a giant to save him and bring him home. The giant found the boy on an island hidden away in the dark wishing himself a Happy Birthday. The giant told him a fantastic story about magic and wizards and witches. He told the boy that he was magic too, and that he could learn all about it if he came to magic school. The boy's caretakers tried to scare the giant away but he didn't leave. He didn't leave until the boy said he wanted to go to magic school.

The boy grew up while at magic school. He learned how to wave a wand and how to fly a broom. He made friends and enemies. He also found out that the story he had made up about his parents wasn't true. The boy learned that an awful man had killed his parents and the man wanted to kill him too. So the boy trained and learned and practiced so that he would be ready to face this evil wizard.

When the day finally came, the boy had become a young man of seventeen. He stood on a battlefield with his friends at his side. He raised his wand and began to fight. He had so much to gain. But he also had so much to lose for, while at magic school, he had finally found love. He had discovered that he was worth love and that he could love others in return.

The battle went on and on. The young man became tired and afraid. What if he couldn't defeat this evil? So many people depended on him. What if he let them down? Would they still love him? The young man’s friends reminded him that even if he didn't win that day he was still their friend. He was their brother. He was suddenly inspired to fight all the harder.

He cast his final spell. The evil wizard fell and died. The young man could hardly believe it. He was free! His friends cried out with joy and hugged him tightly.

The celebration that followed lasted for days. People sang and danced and laughed. They had been so afraid but now everything was safe again. The young man had won! But soon he began to realize something. He still did not remember his parents and he wanted to. He needed to. So he went in search of stories and memories about his parents. The young man first spoke with the Wise Old Man. The Wise Old Man told him many things, but it wasn't what the young man wanted to hear. He then tried to think of a person who could tell him the stories he searched for. And he found two men. Two heroes. Two wizards who had fought with him that day and lived still.

‘Now,’ he thought, ‘I can finally have my Happily Ever After.’


	2. Chapter One

I stopped outside the pub and took a deep breath. It had taken me an embarrassingly long time to find him, but I had. When I told Hermione about my reasons for looking for him, she told me that I would probably have to do some groveling. I hadn't treated him well, and I knew that. I had lost too much back then. I couldn't stand to lose him too. So I made a fool of myself and called him horrid names. I screamed at him and told him I never wanted to see him again. I was a fool.

To be honest, I was shocked that he was there that day. The day I killed Tom Riddle. I was sure that he would have done as I asked. I guess maybe in the end he knew what I was really trying to say. That I loved him so much I couldn't bear to lose him. Not to Riddle. Not like that. In the end, ironically, it was Snape who helped me find him. I wrote to that greasy bat of a teacher and asked him if he would help me. At first, Severus Snape took great joy in tormenting me. Then I told him what I wanted. He came through like he always had before.

Severus found him in a seedy section of Paris. Apparently, after the war, he had gone home to France to spend some time away from all of the parties and glitz that had followed my success in battle. I can understand that. I would have given anything to be able to get away from it all as well. I had to pay Severus, of course, for the address of the pub he frequented most often. But I think that a few vials of Dragon's Blood was worth it. In return, Severus promised he would help me as well but that it would take time. Severus had spent years hiding his life and memories away from Tom Riddle. Now he had to find them all again.

Oh well. That can wait until I get back to England. I have planned to spend no more than three days trying to convince him to help me. If he won't, I'll move on. I'll use what Severus can give me and let that be it. Then I think I'll go home to Grimmauld Place and cry. Not because I would lose what he could tell me, but that I would lose him forever. This is my last chance to make up for what I did to him. I need it to work even if he never helps me in my search.

I smile to myself in an effort to boost my self-confidence. Only in the last few months have I been able to overcome years of programming at Dursley hands. I now know my worth. So I step up and open the door to the pub. The lights are dim which I think is a little odd for the time of day I have chosen to come. It's my plan to use my celebrity to secure a nice table in the corner. A place where I can watch the door for him. The bartender comes up to me.

It's easy to slip him a few galleons for a table. He even includes a nice ale for my drinking pleasure. I don't take the time to mention that I don't want to be disturbed. The galleons seem to take care of that. I take my seat and lounge back a little. Severus would find my behavior hysterical. The Boy Who Lived finally using his famous name to get preferential treatment. Damn, I hate giving Severus a good time. I'll have to work on that.

I watch as the pub begins to fill up. There's a blond woman who looks a little like that French student from the Triwizard Tournament that comes in with a brunette man. But I think Fleur would stop to talk to me so I ignore her after a while. Two huge men who I guess to be bouncers enter and take up stations by the door. Added security or so they say. I sip from my drink and let the crass techno music wash over me. I don't even know how he could stand coming here. It does not fit him at all.

I could see him in a pub in Paris where you aren't allowed to smoke because it might cloud your wine. He would sit on a stool at the bar and talk in whispers to men about politics and books. They would discuss astronomy and arithmancy while sipping at their drinks. In fact I can almost see him there now at this seedy bar doing the same thing.

Hermione introduced me to an American Muggle television show called Cheers. I've taken quite a liking to it. I see him as the Cliff of the group. He would know countless little factoids about silly subjects that no one would care about. Except I would. I would listen to him for hours. I miss him that much. I finish off my ale and put my elbows on the table in front of me. As the pub begins to fill up it is harder to see the door. I sit for four hours before finally giving up. I'll just have to come back tomorrow night. Perhaps he stayed in rather than brave the craziness that's a Paris night.

I start to leave a few knuts for the tip when suddenly someone sits down across from me. I look up, ready to send whatever business girl this is packing, to find him. He smiles at me warmly.

"How long have you been waiting?"

I nod at him and sit back. "Four hours."

"Severus didn't tell you what time I normally come here?" His eyes brighten with mischief.

"No. But I probably didn't pay him enough." I motion to the wandering waitress for two drinks. She brings them quickly but still manages to spill them a little on her tray. "I'm already in the hock for quite a few vials of potions ingredients."

He laughed. It was a refreshing sound. God, how I missed it. "Leave it to Severus to profit from this." He stopped a moment to take a sip of his ale. He coughed roughly, "That's awful. But that's what makes it good."

"I tend to agree." I sip my own. Perhaps the previous glass has dulled my taste buds for I can't seem to care about how it tastes like socks. "What have you been doing lately?"

"Now, Harry, you and I both know you're not here to play catch-up. What's going on?"

I set my drink down and take a breath. I thought I was ready for this... The groveling... The apology. Now it sticks in my throat. "I called you a beast."

"I know."

I held up my hand. "Let me just get through this, damn it!" When he nods and sits back, I continue. "I called you a freak. I was horrid and rude to you. I took the years of friendship, of guidance, you gave me and threw them back in your face. And you still stood by me when Riddle came that day. My father would have killed me for my behavior toward you. Or at least I hope he would have. I know Sirius would have easily done it."

He reached out and patted my arm. "Harry..."

"No. Let me finish!" I sip my drink quickly and go on. "I treated you no better than everyone has ever treated you. And I was stupid. I couldn't..." My words drain away and I'm lost.

"It's alright, Harry. I know why you did it."

"You would." I sullenly respond.

He smiles, "When are you going back to England?"

I let myself have a moment of despair. He won't help me. Not after asking that. "A couple of days. I came here on some personal business but... It doesn't matter now."

His brown eyes twinkle. It looks suspiciously like the twinkle Albus always had. "Personal business with me?"

"Why is this harder than it was going to Severus?" I ask.

"Because you imagine Severus to hate you and that doesn't truly matter to you. Not like it would matter if I hated you, Harry."

I can't keep my mouth shut. "Do you? Hate me?"

I watch his face fall. The brightness that was there during our short conversation is gone. I know it's too late now. I have already lost him. It was stupid to come here. I should have listened to Ron. When I start to stand up, he grabs my arm. His tone leaves no question.

"Sit down!"

I follow orders and look into his eyes. He looks tired. And I know why. The full moon was this week. And he had no one here to help take care of him. He's been alone and all because of me.

"Harry, I do not now, nor ever could, hate you." His eyes tear up. "You are someone very special to me. And I hate that my absence has made you believe that I blame you for what happened between us before the final battle. I was being honest. I do know why you said those things. And I know you would have said them to any of us. Hermione... Ron... Sirius, if he had still been alive. I don't hate you."

I sigh and let my head drop onto the table. I don't care that people around us probably think I'm pissed and have passed out. And I can't think of anything until I feel his hand on my head, stroking my hair. It feels so damn wonderful I can hardly breathe. "Remus."

He chuckles softly, "I know, Harry. I know."


	3. Chapter Two

I open my eyes and blink in the bright sunlight. I have to go back to England today, and Remus has allowed me to put off my real reason for coming. He likes to know things, but he never pushes. I groan as I move on his couch. I ordered him to bed last night before we could really talk. He wanted to, but I wasn't ready. I was jealous. I wanted to spend time with him without my parents clouding the issue. Does that make sense? I hope so. It doesn't change the fact that I'm leaving though. I have a meeting with Severus later today, and I know I need to rest up for it. He tends to sap people's energy. Most especially mine.

I sit up and rub my eyes. My contacts feel grimy and gritty. I should have gone back to my hotel last night, but I couldn't bear to leave. I had wasted so much time already and spending time away from Remus felt like more of a waste. I hear a chuckle and find a glass of pumpkin juice thrust toward me.

"Good morning. Did you have a good night?" Remus asked as he set out a scone for me on the coffee table.

I nod. "Not a single dream."

"You still have them?"

"Yes. But only when I'm worried about something. I don't have much to worry about now." I smile, "Severus has already agreed to do what he can for me so..."

Suddenly Remus jumps up from his seat and sits down next to me. His face is panicked. "Are you sick? Is that why you came here to find me? What potions is Severus using? Are they tested? You only let him brew them for you, right?"

I interrupt Remus gently. "I'm not sick. I went to Severus a few months ago to ask him to find you. He did. I paid him. Part of the deal was that he would do something else for me. That's all."

Remus' body still felt tense. "Oh. Well, thank God for that then." He smiled, "You shouldn't say things like that."

I laughed, "You're the one who jumped to conclusions."

"I know. I think I was channeling Sirius for a moment. You'll have to forgive me." Remus stood up and walked to stand by the small fireplace.

I got up and joined him. "Remus, part of the reason I needed to find you was because I needed to apologize for what happened all those months ago." I ignored his waving hand, a means to wipe away my concern. "The other part was because I needed to ask you for a favor."

Remus turned to face me. "What do you need? Anything, Harry. You know that."

"I want to know about my parents."

I watched Remus' face for some kind of reaction. Severus' reaction to my request had been immediate. I had to eventually promise him something in return to get him to comply. But Remus seemed to have a poker face on this morning.

"Harry, what do you want to know?"

"Sirius would tell me stories about people who weren't my parents. They were kids in school. I know that he wanted to remember the good parts and that maybe he had to in order to stay sane. But I want to know everything. I want to know what an arse my dad could be at times. Did they ever stop talking to each other over something as silly as what channel on the telly to watch? What color was my birthday cake and why? Did they like it? Did I? Did my mother chase him around with a dish towel because my dad tracked mud into the house?" I stop and let the silence speak for me.

Remus nodded, "Severus is helping you?"

"Yes. I figured that he would despise me enough to tell me the truth especially about the bad times." I smile and look at Remus. "And don't say he doesn't despise me. I know he does. He told me so."

"He would." Remus stood quietly for several minutes. I watched him closely. "I'll help."

"Good!" I can barely contain myself. I should have known. Remus would never hold back something like this just to hurt me. Hell, he'd never hurt me to begin with. "I have to go back to England to meet with Severus later today. I can take some time and come back to Paris in about a week."

"You're not working?" Remus sounds curious.

"Not exactly. I've been doing some stuff for Ginny though."

"What kind of stuff?"

I step back and sit back down on the couch. My juice is refreshing as I sip it. "She's involved with someone who needs a little help getting back into the business world. I'm sort of a silent partner in it."

Remus smirks. "Malfoy?"

I laugh. "How did you know?"

"Call me psychic."

For some reason I find that funny. "Psychic? You? More like you've been in touch with Severus lately. Knowing him, he's known exactly where you are the entire time I've been waiting for him to 'find' you." I lean back and scratch my chest. Next time I need to remember to bring nightclothes with me.

"Severus didn't tell me anything. But rumors have been going around that Malfoy Enterprises will be reopening here in Paris soon. I thought he'd lost it all to the Ministry." Remus stated as he picked up his morning tea.

"He didn't. Lucius did. He's been trying to put it all back together but Gringott's didn't want anything to do with him. Ginny asked me to help after I asked Hermione to suggest it to Ginny. I've put up the seed money for the Paris office and the London office which is set to open again in four months." I grin cheekily. "Malfoy will shit a brick when he finds out who's sharing his boardroom."

Remus smiled, "When will he find out exactly?"

"The first meeting is scheduled for London in two weeks. My 'people' have promised Malfoy his partner will be there." I pause for a moment to take a bite of the scone Remus brought me. I'm so hungry I hardly chew before swallowing. "It'll be import/export like before. He should be able to be solvent in two years."

"That's very generous of you, Harry."

I shrug. Severus actually seemed angry that Malfoy needed any help in the first place. Of course, he has no idea that help is me. "When you think about it, Malfoy's life wasn't all that great. It's hardly fair he should lose everything to Fudge's judgements against the Death Eaters. It's not like he was one."

"I agree with that part of it easily, Harry. I just hope it all goes well." Remus smiled at me and set his teacup aside. "I need to get dressed. I'll see you before you leave?"

"I plan on going to the hotel I never used to change clothes. Then I'll take off for England. I feel the need to travel Muggle today."

Remus shook his head. "A portkey would be faster."

I mumble, "I hate portkeys."

But I saw Remus wasn't about to let it go that quickly. "Then take my Floo."

"I can never land right."

"Fine." Remus raised his hands in the air in a sign of frustration. "I give up."

I stand up and walk over to hug him. "No you don't, Remus. You never do."


	4. Chapter Three

I find myself standing on the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch near sundown. It's been a while since I've been able to enjoy the sunset. My life has been crazy ever since the final battle. Parties... Events... Memorials. I really miss being able to appreciate the simple things. I must remember to set aside time for things like this.

A quiet voice disturbs my thoughts. "Potter."

Now, I can hardly keep from laughing. Speak of peace and the very man with no peace in his soul arrives. "Severus. How are you?"

"Alive."

"Thank God for small blessings then."

The dark man next to me actually makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a cough. "Indeed. Your trip to Paris?"

I turn to look at Severus and find him standing stiffly to my left. "Relaxing. After I spoke to Remus, of course."

"Did he forgive your adolescent blunder?"

"He apparently never felt an apology was needed."

Severus nodded slowly, "Imagine that. More of that celebrity you seem to thrive upon."

"I know. Sickening, isn't it?"

"Positively disgusting."

I smirk. "Shall we?"

Severus turns and begins to lead me back toward the school. When I arrived in Albus' office, the old coot must have let Severus know of my return. I'd only been outside for about ten minutes. "One would think you could have the decency to announce your arrival, Potter."

"One would think Albus would have been a little quicker in telling you my location." I loved to snap at Snape. It should be an Olympic sport or something. What a treasured gold medal that would be.

"He did seem a little slow today as compared to yesterday. Perhaps the man is getting too old."

I frown, "Do you really think so?"

Severus stops and spins around to glare at me. "I win."

I groan and walk past Severus up to the school's front door. I walk through and continue on down the hallway. That damn man! He had me really worried for a moment. I mean, Albus is getting older. A hand grabs my left arm and pulls me to a stop.

"I did not mean to insult you, Potter." Severus actually looks concerned.

I turn on him instantly, "Does it seem so funny to you? That one day he might be too old for all of this? That he won't be here for another year?"

"Potter, Albus will be here for many years yet." He lets go of my arm. "But I, too, worry at times. I cannot imagine Hogwarts without him."

"It would seem too different. How could anyone else twinkle like that anyway?" I smirk.

Severus nods, "Minerva has never been known for her twinkle. It could quickly become a problem. I think on her it would look more like an attempt at intimidation."

I laugh and wait as Severus walks through the doorway ahead of me. The school's lobby hasn't changed much since my last trip through the front door a month ago. I normally Floo through to Hermione's rooms to get into the castle. Speaking of which, I need to remember to make some time to visit her. I know she was afraid I wouldn't be able to speak with Remus. I pass through the door and follow Severus to a small dark doorway to the left of the main stairs. "No dinner party in the Great Hall to welcome me home?"

"I must have forgotten to plan it." Severus stopped and hit his right hand with his left hand in a shaming motion. "Damn my memory. How can you ever forgive me, Great One?"

"Bat."

"Gryffindor."

"There's that memory again, Severus. That's not an insult to someone like me." I pass Severus and head down the stairway. Nothing much has changed here. And I am surprised to find that I have noticed. Who cares what Severus has done with his personal passage to the dungeons of the school?

Severus' steps follow me down the stairs and his breathing is loud. He was injured during the final battle and has been having trouble breathing since at times. Minerva and Albus tried to convince him to move from the damp dungeons to the first floor of the school, but Severus pitched one of his infamous fits. He swore he would never live outside of the dungeons while he worked at the school.

I take a moment to rub an imaginary piece of dirt from my robes in an excuse to give Severus a moment to still his breathing. By the time he joins me and pushes past my pathetic attempt to delay him, he is no longer quietly gasping. I swear I can still hear his chest rattle however. "Have you been to see Hermione lately?"

The dark man shoves the door in front of him open and begins to storm down the hallway. "What makes you think I should, Potter?" His voice is full of venom.

"Just curious."

"I am fine, Potter."

"You don't sound fine."

Severus growled as he stopped outside the portrait guarding his personal lab. "And you sound too bloody much like Albus for your own good!"

I frown as he whispers to the portrait, and it opens. "Hermione is an excellent Healer, Severus. She saved your life. You even said she is better than Poppy ever was."

Severus' voice becomes shaky. "I was wrong."

"Poppy wouldn't be angry, Severus. She did what she had to. She chose Hermione and trained her. Poppy knew she was leaving the school in good hands." I try to comfort Severus as much as he will let me. I didn't know until months before the final battle how close Poppy and Severus had been. It must have been the years that Poppy had healed him from the Dark Lord's Revels. Severus had been a complete bear during the months following the final battle when Poppy had died.

He waved me off and walked to his lab table. He held out two vials. "Dreamless Sleep."

I give up for now and smile, "Thank you. I was about out."

Severus mumbled, "Like clockwork."

"What?" I lean forward to see if he will repeat himself. It almost sounded like he cared.

"You need to see Hermione."

I cringe. "I have no need to be tied to a bed while she studies my night terrors. In fact, I'll ignore your breathing if you ignore my continued use of Dreamless Sleep. Deal?"

"Indeed." Severus looks back down at his table. "I found another pensieve."

I am suddenly intrigued. When Severus first told me that he would have to find his memories, I thought he was being metaphysical. That as an Occlumens of great ability he would have hidden his memories behind a wall in his mind until he was free to release them. I was surprised to find out that Severus was being literal. He had hidden pensieves around the castle for years. To date, he had found seven. By his own estimate, Severus had at least another ten to go. "Where?"

"Prefect's bathroom."

"I've been in there. I never saw a thing. Where was it?" I sit down on a stool that is near the table.

Severus smirks. "It appears I hid it behind the mirror behind the portrait of Luxor the Great."

"Behind a mirror?"

He nodded, "I was searching for something else entirely. Luxor himself thought I was searching for the pensieve." Severus pulled over another stool and sat down across from me. "He started asking me for the password which led me to believe I had found another pensieve. It took me two hours to come up with the right password."

"Which one this time?"

Severus' response was muddled so I asked him to repeat himself. He spat, "The Boy Who Lived to Die!"

That was another thing I had thought Severus had been joking about when he mentioned these pensieves. He apparently had used versions of my title as passwords for each hiding place. I particularly was fond of "The Boy Who Refuses to Die." But this one is good, too. "I like that one."

The snort was entirely too joyful for Severus' personality but I took it to mean I had won a point on that last exchange.

I shifted on the stool. "Anything good in this one?"

"I appear to have placed several minor memories in it." Severus normally expounds on the subject of his missing memories. His reticence had me worried. Never mind the fact that he was blushing as well.

I decided to bait him a little. "So this pensieve was the one where you hid those memories of the Weasley Twins and that detention, huh?"

Severus' head nearly spun off of his neck. "What detention?"

"The one that Fred whispered about so deliciously. George couldn't sit down for a week afterward his arse was so sore." I kept my face passive. It was fun pulling Severus' leg. "In fact, I think that might have been the time that Percy joined in, too. Someone had to give that boy a good riding. He needed it."

During my speech, Severus' eyes widened as his skin paled to a ghostly white. The blush was gone to reveal a rather horrific "deer in the headlights" look. While I knew that Severus knew this memory wasn't in the pensieve from the prefect's bathroom, he didn't know for sure that it wasn't buried in another of the many pensieves he had yet to find. "You had better be joking, Potter," he snarled.

"Oh, but I wish I was, Severus. I can remember asking Fred that summer why George moaned so loud during the night. Fred said George was having a rather naughty dream about their detention with you." I sighed dramatically, "Perhaps you still give them out? I might be interested."

Severus' terror had tranformed his face. He bit his lip and then asked, "What if I told you that I did not fancy boys?"

I smiled, "That would work if you hadn't told me that you did by accident during our training before the battle. In fact, that memory was probably in with that detention." I went for the kill. "I mean, I did ask for a demonstration as to how that kind of thing worked. I felt so used the next morning."

The crash surprised me. Severus had fallen off of his stool! I jumped up and ran around the table. "Severus! Severus!" I dropped down on my knees. "I was kidding! I swear! Oh, shite! Are you okay?"

The Potions Master glared up at me from the floor. "I despise you, Potter." He laid back and snarled when I held out my hand to help him up.

I tried to look sorry though I was far from it. "Only part of it was true, I swear. You did let it slip during training. I thought you wouldn't have removed that one."

Severus pulled himself up from the floor and moved back to his stool. "You should be careful. What if I had known you were lying? What would you have done had I tested your story?"

I suddenly felt my face heat up. Whoa Harry! Slow it on up! "I don't know." I watched the thin man sit back down on the stool. Hermione would kill me if I had hurt him in any way. She hated subbing Potions.

"Just get out, Potter." Severus leaned over the table and dropped his head into his hands.

Now I felt a little shitty. I hadn't meant to hurt him. I was just having a little fun. That's how our relationship was now. I snarked at him; he snarked at me. It was a mutual snark society. Shite! "Fine. I'll drop in on Hermione. See you later, Severus."

There was no response as I left the lab.


	5. Chapter Four

"You said what to him? Oh, Harry, what if he won't help you now? I mean, Remus can only know so much. The more you can get will only fill in more pieces. Why didn't you think about what you were saying? Am I going to have to clean this up, Harry Potter? I could just kill you!"

I stood sheepishly in front of my best friend, Hermione Granger, head mediwitch at Hogwarts. It was like being interrogated by Mad-Eye Moody all over again. And I had done that one too many times in my life already. "I wasn't thinking. I..."

"Of course you weren't thinking. You never do. Can't you just leave that poor man alone? What did he ever do to you that he would have deserved that? And don't tell me that he's hated you for years. You know very well that he did what he had to do. Oh my, now I'll have to invite him to dinner or something to explain all of it."

"Hermione, that's not your job. I..." Interrupted again. Damn.

Hermione blasted on, ignoring my attempts at speech. "You can be the most insensitive person in the world, Harry Potter. Did it ever occur to you that he could have known you were lying? What would you have done then? How far would you have gone to freak him out? Would you have jumped him, Harry? I don't know what I'm going to do with you! You're just as bad as Ron sometimes!"

"He asked me that and I told..."

"Of course he asked you that. How could he not? Severus does not deserve this from you, Harry. He helped you find Remus. He brews your Dreamless Sleep and always seems to forget to tell me exactly how much he gives you. When Madame Hooch retired, he recommended Ron for the position. He's a little rough, mind you, but he does good things. I don't know what was going on in your head."

I had finally had enough. So I did the only thing I could do. I shocked the hell out of her. "I kissed him, Hermione." Hey. No one said I had to tell her the truth to get her to stop long enough to breathe.

Hermione's brown eyes widened. "You what?"

I nodded solemnly. "Of course I didn't. But you need to let me get in a word or two here. I wasn't thinking. I think I really hurt him. And the worst part of it all is that I really feel crappy about it."

She glared at me. "And why is that?"

"I don't know." Now I'm telling the truth. "Do you remember seventh year?"

"Yes. I was there, Harry. I remember it like it was just three years ago which it was mind you."

I grinned, "No need for snark, Hermione. It was a simple question."

Hermione finally smiled at me. "Fine. Go on."

Thank God. I was beginning to think I would have to write it out in the air so she would stop talking enough to listen. I didn't mean that. Yeah, I did. "He was telling me that he had found another pensieve, and I was happy for him. Ever since he explained this whole mess to me I've felt like it's this horrible thing that so much of his life is missing from his mind. How could Albus ask him to do this?"

She sighed and shrugged, "Albus did what he had to. And you're assuming that Severus didn't come up with this idea on his own. He could have suggested it to Albus years ago. Maybe Severus slipped that memory into a pensieve?"

Even I couldn't believe that. Severus was known for his amazing ability to control any emotion he felt. He would never have come up with this idea on his own. He may have willingly agreed to it. That I will conceed. This had Albus' hands all over it. "Hermione?"

"Hm?"

I walked over to her and hugged her close. "I love you."

She giggled, "Don't let Ron hear you, Harry Potter."


	6. Chapter Five

I stopped to fix my robes as I left the Infirmary. I still couldn't get my conversation with Severus out of my mind. Hermione was right. It would serve me right if he refused to help now. Hell, knowing Severus, he would probably convince Remus to turn on me, too.

"Harry!"

I turned to find a rather odd surprise walking down the hallway toward me. "Remus? I thought you were staying in Nice."

My father's friend smiled at me. "I decided to come to England. I thought it would be easier this way. And I could also take care of a little visiting while I was here. Speaking of which..."

Somehow I knew what was coming. "I already feel like shite, Remus. I don't need you to tell me I should apologize to Severus."

"Okay." His smile was bright. "But you should."

"I know!" I started to walk away from him.

"Harry, There's something you don't know. And playing with Severus like that does not help matters." Remus followed me quickly. "He's seeing someone."

I stopped dead. "What?"

Remus put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me to keep walking. "Severus is seeing someone."

This little tidbit bothered me. A lot. I didn't care that he was seeing someone persay. I wasn't interested in him myself. Thank the gods. But his life had been shite for a while. Where the hell was this person? Didn't he give a damn about Severus at all? "So where is the bastard, Remus? Why is he leaving Severus to deal with this memory thing all on his own?"

Now it was Remus who stopped suddenly. "Memory thing?"

I cringed. Severus was going to kill me. "Pensieves. He hid things in pensieves around the castle. He's missing a lot, Remus."

Remus let go of my shoulder. His face was very calm but pale. "He never said anything to me."

Then it all became clear. The reason Severus was alone was that his lover knew nothing about it all. And then there was the fact that I had chased him out of England to hide in France. Shite. "Remus, why didn't you tell me?"

The brunette frowned, "I didn't know how you would take it. You were so angry with Severus after your fifth year. I was angry with him. It took a lot of time for the two of us to get over everything that had happened that year. He would say these awful things, and I just wasn't ready to deal with it. We actually grew apart then. We stopped seeing each other for almost two years." Remus sighed, "It was easier that way. But it wasn't better... for either of us."

"I'm sorry." I bit my lip. "Then I had to go and bait him today."

"Come on. I was sent on a mission. I'll be in trouble if I don't complete it." Remus started off down the stairs to our left.

I followed him closely. "Where are we going?"

"Dungeons."

I found this funny. "He sent you after me?"

"He let me use one of the pensieves he had sitting around. He told me it was Albus'." Remus' voice was cold. "I'll deal with that later. Come on."

Our walk to the dungeons was finished in silence. I had no doubt that Severus was about to get his. Remus had this ability to keep his emotions hidden. But what he didn't know was that he often let his emotions show in his body language. And Remus was furious.

The door to Severus private lab opened as soon as we approached it. Remus must be keyed into the wards. It doesn't just open for anybody. "Remus?"

"What?" He took off his outer robe to reveal a white t-shirt and blue jeans.

"Maybe you should calm down."

"I'm fine."

I took a deep breath and agreed with him. He is a werewolf after all. He could easily toss me into the  
wall and break half the bones in my body. I'm not crazy. "Sure. Of course." Then I whispered, "I'm also St. Nicholas."

Remus walked toward the empty lab table where I had left Severus just minutes ago. "What was that, Harry?"

I'm not stupid either. No matter what Severus says. "Nothing." I sat down on one of the empty stools and waited while Remus set a large bowl in front of me. I could see it was one of Severus' pensieves. It was black. Remus should have known better. For being a spy for twenty plus years, Severus could sure be a shite liar at times.

"Just take a look, Harry. I'll find Severus." Remus went to another door at the back of the lab. I knew the door led to Severus' rooms. He opened the door and stepped through. I could hear Severus' voice for a moment then the door slammed shut. This was not going to be pretty.

I turned back to the pensieve in front of me. This was hopefully going to be the first of many trips I would make into the world of my parents. Reporters used to ask me about them before they learned better. After the third time I told them that I didn't remember my father at all, it seemed to calm down. But it didn't stop until that interview by Lavendar Brown. She was the first and only one to ask about my mother. Tell someone you heard your own mother die and they tend to stop asking.

My fingers gripped the side of the bowl. Could I really do this? Should I? Maybe all of this should be left in the past. I find it odd that I now have doubts. I spent months working this all out. I should be happy. I pull my wand from my right robe sleeve. I let the tip touch the silvery liquid. And I feel like I'm falling.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was written for a contest. Which I lost unfortunately. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks.

It's been three years since that day in Severus' lab. I'm proud to say that my former Potions professor has managed to find all but one elusive pensieve. I still maintain that it contains the memory of that detention with the twins. And Severus maintains that it contains all of his dreams about killing me. Oh well. We'll just have to wait and see.

As for Remus, we've managed to put our relationship back together. We spent the first few weeks on eggshells around each other until Severus intervened. He had gotten sick of us coddling each other. Frankly, I had gotten sick of it a long time ago, too.

In the end, Remus was able to give me about two years worth of memories of my parents. He felt that he should give me a more honest view than Sirius ever did or than Severus ever would. I knew that Remus would be the diplomatic one in this search. I saw their first anniversary... my first Christmas... the day they said goodbye to Remus when they went into hiding. I saw my naming ceremony... a party my father had given for Sirius' nineteenth birthday... a shopping trip with Remus, my mother and her parents.

I found that, while I enjoyed what Remus had given me, I needed Severus' point of view. I asked Hermione when she had known for the first time that her parents were human like everyone else. Don't laugh. It's an important question. She told me that her first dog had been killed by another dog in the neighborhood. When she had first gotten the dog, her father had hated it. Couldn't stand it at all. But when he dug the tiny grave in their backyard, he had been crying. Hermione said that it hit her then when she was ten.

I never got that. Severus could give me that. In my fifth year, I saw a memory that showed me the moment my father became human in my eyes. And it took Severus a long time to forget that. My mum actually locked my dad out of the house once. He was drunk after an Order meeting and Severus had brought him home. Sirius and Remus were away on separate missions. I spent the night on the porch with my father and Severus. He was pissed and mouthy. But I could see my mum standing in the front window making faces at him almost all night.

When I started this quest, it sounded so romantic. The Boy Who Never Knew His Family finally does. It's all lies. I knew them. I just couldn't remember them. I forgot their voices and their love. I forgot their faces and their good times. I forgot it all. But it's okay. I still have them in my heart even if I can't remember how to find them.


End file.
